-
Time Traveling Engagement Photos
My friend Reilly is getting married to his lady Verzhine and they came up with this incredibly creative and gorgeous idea! So brilliant!
Yeah, I already posted this, but it was the middle of the night. I can’t stop looking at them.
-
Bagels, Berating and Biznatches
I was just at the bagel shop this morning and a little tiny girl was ridiculing her husband/boyfriend for everything he said. Using my least favorite de facto phrase: “You always do [x]”. She also kept saying, ‘honey’ in this condescending way that you could really tell what she meant to say was “stupid’. Given, this was a special case. She was as equally nasty to the counter workers who were out of sesame seed bagels, however, it got me thinking.
In days of old, men often told women what to do and they were expected to obey. Lest we forget MadMen. However, times have changed. A man now verbally abusing a woman would be looked on as an orge. I have witnessed others intercede when men have become verbally abusive to their female partners. But it seems that somehow it is perfectly ok in these modern days for women to be verbally abusive to their male counterparts. Perhaps people do not view this as an issue because of the lack of potential for physical abuse. It’s usually unlikely that the 5’2” girlfriend is going to punch the 6’ guy in the face (though you never can tell).
Why is it ok to verbally abuse anyone? Particularly in public? If you do have an issue with your partner, it is better to talk about that behind closed doors. No one wants to be berated in front of a bunch of strangers. Furthermore, we all get irritated and h-angry at times, but lets not take it out on the world, ok? I’m looking at you, New Yorkers.
When you date, marry, whichever with someone, I truly believe you need to be on the same team as your partner. Tearing them down will not build you up and lashing out out of hunger, crankiness, etc will only make tiny rips in the clothe of you relationship over time. If you are desperately cranky before breakfast, try to hold it in until after you have eaten or not direct it all on your partner. Take a deep breathe before you bash the person you care about most and see what is ACTUALLY upsetting you. Then deal with that. Also the guy smearing cream cheese is not at fault if someone came and purchased all the sesame seed bagels. Just FYI.
-
New Years Resolutions
1. Take more pictures (not on photobooth and with other humans).
2. Spend less time on the internet. (This tumblr post is not helping prove my commitment)
3. Get back to yoga and/or dance classes again. (Anyone wanna hit up Bway Dance Center? Cough Ozz, Cough Zoe)
4. Listen to the voice in my head that says, ‘bad idea’. You know when you go out for 3am fries or tequila shots, or when the guy with a face tattoo asks you out and inside your head you know it’s a bad idea… I gonna listen this year.
5. Finally, I want to learn my limits. I can’t work 24 hours a day, even if I try.
2012: The year Lorraine learns to take a day off.
Happy New Year!
-
Giving Up Gossip
I am giving up gossip and talking about other people for 30 days. I’m not much of a shit talker. In truth, I feel an enormous amount of guilt when I do talk behind someone’s back, even if they are someone who isn’t my biggest fan. After saying something bad about someone I feel an overwhelming wave of paranoia that somehow they know exactly what I’ve said and I’ll soon have to answer for my crimes.
I do however love to dissect human behavior and try to figure out people’s deals. I find humans interesting and I think this truly makes me a better actor and writer because I truly love humans. On my more selfish side, I truly wonder how people view me and think about me. All I’ve learned is that no one is ever thinking about us as much as we think. Guaranteed.
All this said, I feel there comes times in life when caring too much what others think, what they are doing, and so on makes one’s existence become trivial. Pouring so much energy into someone else’s life/business/behavior only serves to distract you from your own. Furthermore, when dealing with frustration/anger/sadness caused by other people, talking about it incessantly only serves to amplify your feelings and give it power over you. Pouring so much energy into talking about someone who isn’t present in the room is only an energy suck and a distraction from the accomplishments you could be achieving.
When training my dog, the instructor told us that we should never use our hands to push our dog’s paws off the couch because touch was always stimulating, so it would always be viewed as a positive reinforcement. Reacting to something whether good or bad is pouring attention on that person/action/situation. The only true way to discourage behavior or to remove something’s power over you is to ignore it. Simple don’t give it power over you.
Now, I’m not saying to stop experiencing life or hold in all you feelings. Sometimes what you feel needs to be expressed. However, dwelling, gossiping, endlessly dissecting really gets you nowhere. How someone else might feel about you or whatever drama they might be going through is not your business. Their feelings are just that, THEIRS.
It’s fun to try to figure people out, but I find it interesting in these moments to say, ‘What about my life is making me need to escape from it into someone else’s?’
-
Bossypants
I downloaded the audiobook of Bossypants by the ever talented Tina Fey. (Before you judge, audiobook autobiographies are one of life’s most simple pleasures. You get to hear the author’s account in their actual voice, which is nothing short of rad. Case closed.)
There are many things that have stuck in my brain because of this book, but the one thing I keep coming back to is this story, which ironically isn’t so much about Tina Fey. I am paraphrasing because… well this is an audiobook and I lack the patience to transcribe it in total.
The story goes something like this: While at SNL, Amy Poehler was doing a loud and vulger bit for some of the other writers. Jimmy Fallon in a faux squeamish voice said something like ‘Ew, stop, I don’t like it.’
“Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second and wheeled around on him. “I don’t fucking care if you like it.”
With that exchange a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she was not there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.”
Tina Fey says this in the most excited and awe-filled voice. (See, don’t you wish you had the audiobook now?) As someone who is a chronic sufferer of nice girls’ disease, I can’t get this out of my mind. The idea that someone could stand up for themselves and be brash and still one of the most likable humans on the planet somehow boggles my mind. If you doubt me read this article.
On occasion I have hurt people with my jokes. I have been cornered by friends, followers, subscribers and complete strangers which from me generally ellicts the most immediate oh-my-god-I-am-so-sorry-I-am-such-an-A-hole reaction. However, I have the greatest respect for the people who can just say, “I don’t fucking care if you like it.”
Because the truth of the matter is IT IS A JOKE. It was meant to bring joy and laughter and maybe if you are offended YOU TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY. It doesn’t make me or any other comedian an asshole… unless they are trying to be hurtful, in which case… maybe. But the greater point that Ms. Fey makes often throughout her book is that if we were men, would it matter? If we weren’t ladies who are supposed to be soft and nice and polite would it be so offensive?
This inspires me. I would never be purposefully hurtful. I am truly someone who thinks about the feelings of most every person I encounter, to a fault at times. (Now, let’s not confuse this with me always doing the right thing because I haven’t quite figured that out yet.) However, sometimes you have to be true to yourself and stand by YOU. Treating yourself with the kindness you would give a friend, I assume, is difficult for all humans not just me, but it is necessary. Particularly in comedy or performance or even just work, people will be harsh or get hurt by things, but all you can do is do right by your-own-self and try to remember, “I don’t fucking care if you like it.”
Also, I HIGHLY recommend Bossypants. Besides being a hilarious and inspiring book, it is basically a perfect model for writing comedic anything. Seriously, this woman can’t help but squeeze every drop of funny out of each line and it is impressive.
Two thumbs way up.
-
Putting my money where my mouth is
DUDES! Two amazing things have happened this week. Two things I said I would make happen… AND I AM!
REWIND
So as those of you that follow my regular tumblr may know I went on tour a week or two ago with Chicago based super group Baby Wants Candy - WHICH WAS AWESOME. I cannot emphasize this enough. Getting paid to perform is my favorite thing without doubt. Two of my castmates were from Chicago and after listening to some of their discussion I started to fantasize (more than usual because this is something I already occasionally do) about going to Chicago for a while. You know those fantasies where you go somewhere awesome and your life clicks into place and everything makes sense. THEN on Friday my friend Blaine has his own awesome Chicago based improv group called Improvised Shakespeare Company which blew through on tour, which again was AWESOME. They are a complete virtuoso group and you should without doubt see them if ever given the chance. And finally I got Tina Fey’s book and she went on and on and on about her time at Second City.
THE UNIVERSE IS TELLING ME SOMETHING, RIGHT?!
I mean, if the universe is in the habit of sending messages, I am definitely getting one. Instead of sitting on this and wistfully wondering what to think of it.
I AM GOING TO CHICAGO THIS SUMMER.
To do an intensive and see improv and live my life. I requested the time off. I got permission from Second City to take their advanced immersion course. All I have to do is decide which class to take and book my stuff.
BUT WHAT ELSE COULD BE SO EXCITING?
I have been mulling over writing a one-woman show. Finally my friend Oscar cornered me and said, you need to do this. And it all clicked for me. *SPOILERS* I finally got my shiz together, started writing and found an AWESOME composer to join me! Yes, I need a composer! ACK! SO EXCITED!
I am starting to truly believe if you just make up your mind to do something, everything will just fall into place. It’s hard to not listen to the millions of voices saying don’t do it, it’s too hard, what if you make an ass of yourself, but just taking the steps to make things happen for yourself feels so good, it’s totally worth it.
For making it to the end of the post you get this cute bunny.
-
No one will know you, if you don’t let yourself be known, and furthermore if you don’t take time to know yourself.
-
Standing Up Straight Makes Me Feel Good
Once when I was in a Bikram yoga class (you know, that yoga where it’s 105 degrees, yes that yoga) we did a pose I have known as bow (in bikram it’s known as Camel pose): You stand on your knees and lean back, putting your hands on your ankles making you look like a … you guessed it! BOW! The teacher said something interesting, ‘This opens your heart chakra’. Now I know this sounds a little hippy dippy perhaps, but before they even mentioned it, I felt a ball rise in my throat. I had no reason to be sad at the time. I just felt a genuine release of physical emotion. Hunching over besides being lazy, protects your heart and keeps others away.
Emotional tension is very real. I used to have a very happy-go-lucky friend George in college who would get misty every time he got a massage. (Platonic massages happen a lot in theater school, especially after hours of dance rehearsals). I always thought it was very strange, but your emotions have to be expressed somehow. If you swallow them they often end up resurfacing in your body or back. Conversely, treating your body in a certain way can synthesize the emotion associated with the movement - like how a day lounging in your pajamas can eventually make you feel sick and tired even if you are fine.
I noticed I have been slouching a lot lately. My back has been sore from sitting at my desk at work. Even when I sleep I curl into a ball with my chin against my chest. It’s comforting. So last night as I went to bed I tried to not curl my neck but to just rest my head to side. I felt so vulnerable. You know that feeling when you’re a kid and you get soap in your eye and you think that is the exact moment a monster is going to get you… just me? Well it’s that sort of feeling. I had trying to protect myself.
The next morning at work, I made an effort sit up straight. People treated me better, told me I looked more attractive and I felt it. I went to improv rehearsal and I was more energetic, less in my head and more articulate with my opinions. I have no clue if anyone else noticed, but I felt the difference.
There is that old saying, “Fake it ‘til you make it” which is very true in terms of body and emotion. If you allow your body to rest in a posture that is associated with fear, exhaustion or sadness you will eventually feel those things. So snap out of it and stand up straight. It’s even been scientifically proven that smiling can make you feel happier. Sometimes good feelings comes from an outward source (like an adorable puppy gif) and sometimes you can make your own happiness by putting your body in a happy position.
-
Good vs. Great
I have been spending the morning chatting about theatre with my dear friend, Maureen, who I co-assisted on a project with a couple years back. During our talk I felt compelled to write this list to her on the components on an enjoyable production.
Here is what I feel are the ways to a great production1. a clear story that makes sense2. speakable dialogue3. great actors who are grounded, smart and truthful
4. a director who can both tell a story and get a good performance from the cast5. A set, lighting and costumes that don’t distract from the other componenets
After writing this I felt I left my standards to low. Why not be AMAZING?
What makes an amazing production:
1. A story that is in some way new, relatable and adventurous that the audience can’t get enough of that is clear, relate-able and makes sense.2. Smart dialogue that is easy to listen to, fun and stimulating for the head and heart.
3. Experienced actors who invest their whole selves and care more about being the character and having the experience of being in the moment than how they look on stage, how they are perceived by the audience or who are secretly wondering how they are in the show.
4. A director who can guide the actors, tell the story and use a larger creative vision to be head of the ship whilst still able to fix every bit of the minutia without micromanaging or becoming overbearing.
5. A set, lighting and costumes that transport you into there characters world completely.
-
I’m Just a Girl Who Cain’t Say No
I have a problem with the word, “no”. I forgot how to say it long ago. I do improv and our mantra is ‘yes and’. I am programmed for enthusiasm and the desire to conquer the world. I want to do EVERYTHING.
Do you want to film this thing? YES AND I WILL EDIT IT!
Do you want to be in my improv group? YES AND I WILL ORGANIZE ALL THE REHEARSALS!
Do you want to stab yourself in the eye with this pen? YES AND I WILL WRITE A POEM ABOUT IT!
I can’t help myself. I genuinely want to do it all… well not the eye stabbing thing, but most everything else.
Q. So what does that amount too?
A. About 6 hours of sleep a night and seeing my friends about once a month.
On Saturdays I usually take a class, but it ended. Huzzah! I HAVE A WHOLE FREE DAY! But then somehow I booked myself into THREE video projects that day! HOW. DOES. THIS. HAPPEN.
Here is an example of what my day normally is:
6:30a-7a Push Snooze
7a-7:45a Shower, try on three outfits, end up wearing the first outfit I tried on
7:45a-8:30a Commute, Attempt to find seat on crowded train, end up giving seat away to pregnant woman/elderly person/disabled person while fat guy next to me continues to sit.
8:30a-6:30p Work aka play on tumblr and send emails for Milk Can
6:30p-7p Commute/ Scavenge for food
7p-10p Rehearse/ Film/ Have a Meeting
10p-10:30p Talk about Rehearsal/ Filming/ Meeting
10:30p-11:30p Commute home
11:30p-12p I talk at my bf’s face about my day, he listens which is nice.
12p Stare at the ceiling thinking about doing it again tomorrow
My weekend:
8am Wake up and remember it’s the weekend, go back to sleep (BEST PART OF DAY)
10a Force myself out of bed
10a-12p Become preoccupied with something around my apt (i.e. cleaning, my ukulele, tumblr)
12p-6p Go to rehearsal/class/meeting
6p-10p Spend time with someone/ do something not in my house
10p Watch TV while I edit/write emails/tumblr/ dream about the days I had time to go out
I am going to spend this week learning to say, ‘no’.
